Humor Officail Joke thread ;)

Please be careful about religion and race joke's it may offend people. Thanks.

Ill start it off, i just got this sent to me on my phone.

8 things, Girls shud say to Guys

1. I'm bored.let's shave my p ussy.
2.Are you sure you've had enough to drink ?
3.that fart was great do another !
4.of course i swallow i love it
5.No thats ok, you drink beer and watch p orn ill do the washing up
6.Just for a change put it in my Ar**
7.How about you get that girl from work to join us ?
8.Marriage ? No Way !

Sadly, Carlsburg dont do Girlfriends.........

A man goes into a 24 garage late at night and says 2 the check out girl at the windows " can i have a kitkat chuncky " the girl walks off and returns with a kitkat chunky " NO " says the man "i wanted a normal kitkat u fat C*nt"

Little Jimmy arrives late for school and the teacher asks him 'Where have you been?'
Jimmy says 'Sorry miss but my daddy got burnt.'
'Oh dear' she says, 'Is he O.K.'
He replies 'They don't f#ck about in them crematoriums.'

My Dearest Susan,

Sweetie of my heart. I've been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated. Won't you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won't you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so.

Yours always and truly,
John

P.S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.

k now this one is great!! click on the video underneath the pic/ music.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=202167928

LOL these are hilarious hold on i have to find this one

well this one is kinda old idk if u have herd it its still funny tho

So a blond chick txts me and ask me what idk means and i txt back i dont know and then she txts bak OMG nobody does

i lol'ed.....

lol manunited u sure r one funny guy............
lol jk

ok so how do u drown a blonde?

put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool!

hahahahahah its so funny not. i think blonde jokes r funny

ok heres another

one day johnny walks in on his dad peeing and his dad says well son it looks like u have just witnessed a perfect penis.
So the next day Johnny goes to skool and for his show and tell he pulls down his pants and says if my penis was 3 inches shorter than i wuld have a perfect penis

Lol

haha ouch dad slap in the face
i wonder if his teacher enjoyed that
lawl

lmao thats a good 1